Sunday, 16 January 2011

"NOW HEADBUTT THE CAMERA SEXY!"

Amongst many other wrong films I got for Santa's Birthday I got this...which isn't particularly wrong I suppose.

"Female Vampire" AKA "The Bare Breasted Countess" AKA "Erotikill" etc etc etc...
Basically it does what it says on the tin.

Jess Franco made over 160 films in his time. Most of which were utterly dreadful it has to be said. He was a pretty inept director but his films are weirdly compelling and I've got a fair stack of the woeful little specimens in my collection. That's undoubtedly because his output is usually themed around Vampires, Lesbianism, gore (kind of), and weirdness - sometimes all the above.
Oh, and he did a load of smut too.

"Faceless" is pretty good I suppose now that I think of it. Plus it's got Brigette Lahaie in it that used to do things to me when I saw her in early Darkside magazines at school.
I'm just being honest.

I started watching this while doing press-ups (not a euphemism kids) guessing that being a Franco flick I wouldn't have to pay much attention to the plot as he usually doesn't really bother with such things.

Gratuity? Yes please. This did make me chuckle.
Apparently old Franco was shacked up with Lina Romay (who was apparently quite the exhibitionist - no shit!) so I guess that's why we get this epic intro that consists solely of lingering zoom shots of her chest bottom and disco bush. 
She even smacks her face into the lens at one point.
Shall we edit that out? No of course not. Ha ha...

 Gotta love the early seventies.
Check it out.
Then tell me how this is on Youtube actually...hmmm.

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