Theory 77

Radio Rust Podcast - Episode 24 - New year, new rants and curious kittens.

2012-01-03T13:53:00.001Z

Yep... I haven't done a Podcast since Halloween - thanks for reminding me.
Whatever - happy new year all!!

This month features some decent noise, the odd rant, an interfering kitten, and my usual train-of-thought verbal diarrhea sprayed all over it.

As always - feel free to share this wherever you like - many thank you very muchlys.
Track list goes (something) like this -

July - Dandelion Seeds
Sputnik Brown - Superstar
Haiku D'etat - Non Compos Mentis
**SELF INDULGENT DOUBLE BILL**
Sage Francis, B.Dolan, Metermaids - Bad Things (THEORY 77 REMIX)
Mark B - Fresh, Fly, Wild & Bold (THEORY 77 Cold Crush Brothers DEATH MIX)
(DOWNLOAD THESE FREE - LINKS IN PREVIOUS POSTS.....)
Tom Waits - Satisfied
Cherokees - Wondrous Place
Prolyphic & Buddy Peace - NY Jets - REQUEST
Organised Konfusion - Releasing Hypnotical Gases
Melodica Deathship - The Wreck O' The Elizabeth Dane
Apocalyptica - Fade To Black

DOWNLOAD/LISTEN/SUBSCRIBE/WHATEVER - HERE!!!!

Now for some Penguins scaring the crap out of a little girl - Yay!

NICE ARTWORK, TERRIBLE MOVIES (mostly) AND THE SENTIMENTAL GIBBERISH OF A FOOL....

2011-12-08T14:39:00.002Z

Thought I'd be nice and clear some of the cool but mostly nostalgic crap I've accidentally been clogging up Rachel's hard-drive with over the past few months or so.

I'll probably go into nerd mode here - just tune out if that happens.

Woo! Let's have a look then shall we?

First up is this UK Serial Killer yarn from 1970....

...hey check it out.

"As powerful as a vat of BOILING acid"

Acid you say?

JUST acid???

What IS this?

I want it BOILING!!!!

Yeah, that's the stuff....

....This one's a poster for Bird with the Crystal Plumage

I hadn't seen this artwork before - pretty cool....

...More UK nuttiness from Hammer 1971 styleeeee....

....Seriously? You'd watch that right? Great poster and marketing genius. So many of these flicks had awesome covers like this that drew you in like fly to poop. It's so rare that the film lived up to the artwork.

It's a THROAT CUTTING ORGY GARNISHED WITH SEX CHANGE PARSLEY.

Yet utter gash.

NEXT!

I totally admit that I know sod all about this one but come on...

"THE IGUANA WITH THE TONGUE OF FIRE"

As if you don't want to see this one?

It's 1971, it's vaguely gory, it'll have boobs and it's a Giallo.

That'll do me.

And now for this.....

My first encounter with this flick was in the back of Mum's VHS rental shop when I was I don't even know. I'll say 13 but that's probably completely wrong one way or the other.

I seem to remember having exhausted all the Horror on the shelves and I was digging through the racks of tapes out the back.

All of these were lined up with the catalog number stickers on display.

Rows of my Mum's handwriting on the mountain of black tapes.

I used to be fascinated with tape when I was a kid and I remember watching my dad splice together snapped VHS in the living room where a customer had a dodgy player that liked to eat 'em.

I remember pulling this one out and getting a little excited at the label - bright yellow and all it said was MANIAC in bold black. That was it - just the title and the Intervision logo (ahhhhhh...).

I never saw the cover in the shop.

Mum might have been worried it'd get raided but considering some of the other stuff she had proudly displayed and daring you to rent it...I doubt it.

So I don't know if it was this censored cover or the more famous one with the scalp and the er...that other thing that we had. Never found it.

Anyhow - I love this film.

Joe Spinell KILLS IT (quite literally) in this.

Apparently Spinell was somewhat of a method actor and would disappear at the end of each shoot and not show up again until the minute he was needed to be on camera again - sometimes for days at a time.

Nobody really knew where he was either. He would literally live the lifestyle of the character, was continuously intoxicated one way or another, would mumble and groan to himself most of the time (the stuff in the film, even the long monologues are mainly ad libbed) and even designed a good deal of the sketchy "props" that decorate his flat!

Add to that the fact that Tom Savini did all the effects (one of his best "gore" efforts beside Day of the Dead in my opinion), plays a sleazy guy and even takes a shotgun to his own fake head (Savini had to shoot "himself" whilst dressed as the maniac to get the effect right)...

Basically a big yes.

However....

They are currently doing a remake.

Normally it doesn't faze me much but this one makes me spew.

Get ready for a big budget CGI, family friendly, pretty teen shit-fest.

Know who's replacing Spinell? That fresh faced fopp from Lord of the sodding Rings!

I don't even know his name but come on.... everyone in it looks like they just feel out of GLEE.

If they want to do a maniac inspired flick - fine.

Just why not call it something else.

Spinell's health went downhill rapidly after completion of this film and some speculate that he never quite recovered from all that he immersed himself in whilst filming.

Extremely sad to say the least and a huge talent lost but Christ almighty - that's some dedication.

And a lot to live up to Mr Frodo or whoever the piss you are....

That was a little serious perhaps....moving on!

AMUCK!

"He wanted them to do everything"

MAKE ME A SANDWICH!

Great little not-so-great Italian EXOCIST rip-off...

I liked it when I was a little man.

BAY OF BLOOD

Basically wow...

This was in the shop.

I'm amazed it was still on the shelf.

One of the most memorable covers for me.

I'd like to see them try to pitch this one today...

"Yeah, right so er, what we're thinking is getting a girl and whipping her up a bit...you know, just 'til she bleeds.. then we're going to sorta crucify her...oh but upside down so we don't offend anyone...no of course she wont be naked, she'll have a thong on...we're going to make the Holocaust super sexy"....

NEXT.

AKA "DEATHLINE"

I remember seeing this on an all night BBC 2 Halloween special.

Inbred cannibals living in the tube tunnels. Woo!

Great sleazy intro in early 70's Soho with an equally great bit of music.

Never seen this poster before and god knows what it's all about - almost nothing to do with the film!

Never seen it but GAWD DAAYUM!!!

And then there's this....(!)

SERIOUSLY?

Have you ever cast your vile and sinning peepers over anything so downright WRONG?

It's best just to leave that one there I think....

Right then - this one I have a little soft spot for.

If you've seen it you're probably wondering why.

I "found" a Betamax (yep) copy of this in my Dad's desk when I was super young and the cover scared the crap out of me. I remember putting the opening sequence on and switching it off until I got the nerve to continue. Then the tape disappeared for good. No fair.

But yeah, I've got it now and I have to admit that yes, it's completely woeful.

Having said that there's a few pretty cool bits.

Some of the Zombies are sort of creepy (maggots and all - Euro Zombies always ruled) and the shots of the dead Nazis shambling over the dunes are a bit spooky. Sort of?

Plus the two girls at the beginning? Ha!

Acting? Of course you are - verrrry good.

There's so much to say about those two "hot" chicks it's untrue! Maybe later.

That could be amusing...for me at least.

Here's some more Dead Nazi's in an equally rubbish film....

ZOMBIE LAKE

Don't care how crap the movie is - the artwork is amazing!

I'm a massive decapitated dead Nazi and you can't see me...

Take a swim you hot little leaf-genitalled thing you.

Speaking of nudie swim zombies...

Oh my lord - THE ALIEN DEAD

This is surely one of the worst on here so far.

Another one that I "found" in the racks devoid of cover.

This was so bad it's untrue.

The Zombies (about 5 that repeat throughout) were obviously made up by a blind and/or limbless Mum using a box of crayons and a bucket of mud.

There's a bit where a girl actually laughs as she's attacked and "bitten" (gummed) by the the supposedly undead. And when I say bitten what actually happens is the guy dribbles fake blood onto her shoulder - in very, very slow motion...which obviously adds to the dynamic nature of the scene.

Enough.

This one was in the shop and this was the cover that we had on the shelf.

i have it downstairs and it's rubbish.

I watched it again while Rachel was wrapping up Christmas presents and she hates me for it.

It's total gash but entertaining nonetheless.

Completely over the top and ridiculous gore, insane dialogue, terrible dubbing, a swat team member in a Tutu, impromptu and pointless nudity and a rat (mouse) that kills a lab technician by what looks like turning into a water pistol and squirting blood at his face.

I'm clearly bored.

STRANGE FAMOUS REMIX - AGAIN.

2011-12-05T09:55:00.000Z

Here's the "Bad Things" (Sage Francis, Metermaids & B.Dolan) Remix I did for SFR recently. Enjoy...

GRAB THE MP3 HERE

Words from Sage on the SFR site-

"You can always expect an interesting remix from Theory 77. His use of scratches and meticulous attention to detail in the composition of his tracks is always impressive. His change ups in every single verse and chorus puts this remix on the top of my list"

They asked me to write something there too.... I don't sound like a twat at all. Nope.

"Right now I’m sitting here scratching my bald spot as I ponder what to put down here. First and foremost – THANK YOU! I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate the kind words and, quite honestly, overwhelming support I’ve had over the past few days. It’s been incredible. I woke up this morning, saw the news and was instantly reduced to a grinning and humbled puddle – which isn’t an inappropriate metaphor for a change.

As always, the level of competition was FIERCE to say the very least. It’s obvious that everyone worked ridiculously hard on this. Very intimidating. It reminds me of my DJ Battle days minus all the people wanting to punch me in the face. HUGE rah-spek to all who entered. Many, many thanks to all the nice folk who wrote super kind things on SFR, the forums and the SFR F***book page – even if some of you do sound completely insane! And of course to all at SFR itself.

I very nearly didn’t enter this one due to time issues – then at the last minute I realised that I’d submitted the wrong MP3! So yeah…glad indeed. The fact that someone at SFR spent the time to photoshop a picture of a dude crapping himself was the icing on the cake for me. Even though it unnervingly sort of looks like me twenty years ago!

I don’t know how much I’m supposed to write here so I’ll just keep going until Sage decides it’s time to get his edit on. Someone mentioned the “Beeped” line – that’s because drugs are naughty. I have spoken.

Huge thanks once again. Really. Free and massive hugs all round.

Lots of love, Mike xxxx

Theory 77"

Nice.

MARK B & THEORY 77 - COLD CRUSH BROTHERS TRIBUTE

2011-11-30T15:18:00.000Z

Holy crap - what a week!

Here's a new scratch mix I did for Mark B.
Cold Crush Brothers tribute time. I have to say I really enjoyed digging through a load of old live tapes and show footage from '81 (I think) in the process of making this one.
Made me grin throughout. Must have been incredible to be part of hip hop in it's relative infancy like that.

Anyhow - I digress. Imagine that....

Feel free to share this one around - it's FREE so don't be cheap you scumbags.

GRAB MY TURNTABLE DEATH MIX HERE FOR FREE

I've got a load of other amping news but I seem to have been online all day so that can wait for now.
Me hungreeee....

The original of MARK B / DIALECT "Fresh, Fly, Wild and Bold" can still be done gotted HERE

ENJOY!!!!

Radio Rust Podcast - Episode 23 - Halloween!!!

2011-11-01T12:45:00.000Z

It's 364 days until HALLOWEEN - How punctual is that???!!!

Yeah OK...late as usual. Nearly though, eh?
It's the usual babble and inane crap talking from me in between some tasty and spook-ridden music. It's all verrrry good yah?

Here's the playlist although almost certainly in a different order...

"Halloween" - Kay Lande and Wade Denning
"It's Halloween" - The Shaggs
"Dracula" - Christine Pilzer
"Night of The Vampire" - Moontrekkers
"Midnight Monsters Hop" - Jack and Jim
"Mostly Ghostly" - Hans Conreid and Alice Pearce
Fabienne desol - "Gonna Haunt you" (for the chick)
"Mad Monster Party" - Ethel Ennis
Some Spooky Library Music
"They're Here" - Boots walker
"Ghoulies" Title Music - (VHS Rip)
"The Rockin' Ghost" - Archie Bleyer
"Halloween 77 Versus the Sex & Death Torture Chamber Of Hell" - Theory 77
(And you can download the MP3 of this one and share the video around (hint) if you click the link at the previous post).

DOWNLOAD/STREAM/SHARE THE RADIO RUST HALLOWEEN SHOW HERE

Thanks my pretties...
All the spooky best.
Mike xxx

Halloween 77 Versus The Sex And Death Torture Chamber Of Hell

2011-10-28T13:34:00.000+01:00

...Or how to get as many tagwords into a track name as possible.

This video took me an age. I don't have any decent equipment for these or any other things - so everything I make, audio or otherwise, takes FOREVER.
Even if it doesn't look like it.
You works wiv whatcha got....

Anywho...It's Halloween!!!!!

Grab this MP3 HERE and share this video around if you fancy it.
Much appreciated as ever.

Nearly time to get my Zombie suit out.....
Enjoy!

Radio Rust Podcast - Episode 22 - Halloween Foreplay or something...

2011-10-07T14:50:00.001+01:00

A killer show this month to make up for my diabolical slackness as of late - sorry.
The Halloween Podcast, however, is already sorted so at least that one will go up on time. Maybe.

In between the usual waffle and train of thought mumbling you have this lot....

The Proov - "The Story"
The Heavy - "Short Change Hero"
El-P - "Time won't Tell" (Nocando Remix)
Lazy Smoke - "Salty People"
Aceyalone - "The Grandfather Clock"
Charles Bradley - "Stay Away"
Jim Guthrie - "The Maelstrom" and "Ode to a Room"
The Left - "Desperation"
Leaf Hound - "Freelance Fiend"
The V.I.P's - "I Wanna Be Free"

Blah blah blah...Yes it's late. Punch me in the face.
Share and enjoy.

DOWNLOAD/SHARE/STREAM/ENJOY - HERE!!!

Next time's the spooky show.
Here's how I'm feeling about Halloween this year......YEEEEEE!!!!

Other news - Rachel had her 13th Birthday party with me last Monday and we did some cool shit.
Had a pretty decent day buying Justin Bieber Tee Shirts and square dancing to German Auto-tuned House classics in our pants.

I don't know what's wrong with me a lot of the time - she generally does.
She's weirdly always there for me. Only the Easter Bunny knows why.
I'm a very, very, VERY lucky guy I guess. Stoked.

I painted that Tee for her a while back.... Thanks Missy. x

"Numb" video shoot.

2011-09-21T21:21:00.000+01:00

So then....

It took around 14 hours last Thursday to shoot my first, I guess, "proper" video at this amazingly quaint little spot you see here....

I flapped my arms about a fair bit, got sweaty and tried not to get in the way of too many collapsing ceilings.

Super happy with the result and before I go on I'd like to take this opportunity to plug the crap out of the director responsible for making me look less ugly.

www.jontyegginton.com

A super friendly, insanely hard-working dude who went totally out of his way to see this through - many thanks once again Mister.

If you need something done well and FAST (jeeeezus...) then get in contact with this guy.

Pleasure to have met you.

I didn't take any photos of the main spot we filmed at as I was flagging a little through lack of Veg and was pretty keen to press on with the next part of the shoot.

...wish I did now though as the inside was insane.

Want to get on the roof when I've got a little more time.

Although I'll probably die a bit.

Anyhow, we were then given the keys to a disused Convent (?) here....

....Pretty insane.

I've cut in some odd places in my time but I doubt I'll ever be clicking faders on an altar any time again soon....

....I took a bunch more whilst rummaging up the moody bell-tower and the sexy, spooky, Suspiria-style spiral staircase whilst shouting "sushi"....

...the morning after I unpacked and Poe fell asleep on the Mixer because it's far more comfy than the cushion three times her size about a foot away.

Anyway...blah.

Here's the official video for "Numb" off the new album I keep bleating on about called "Let's Be Friends"..... soon kids, I swear.

Stay tuned - it'll make you sexier and younger. Just like TV.

If you want to share this anywhere It'd be very much appreciated.

I think that's about as much as a hint as I can give you.

Thanks.

London Riots - New video and looted goods.

2011-08-25T10:36:00.000+01:00

Ok.
I'm not going to go on some massive rant here as, let's face it, I've said more than enough already.
Everything I want to say on the grim state of affairs a while back is there to be picked apart in this new track and hastily cobbled together video.
I felt pretty sad last week on the bus through my old stomping grounds.

Yes I stole another "pop" hit again - the reasons are pretty obvious. Woo!
Thanks Chase and Status. Please don't let your big bosses sue me - I have no cash whatsoever.

09/08/11
I wrote the words on that date up there, re-jigged the instrumental a bit and went a bit overboard on the turntable stuff. I would have posted this earlier but I've been a little moody recently.

If you like, dislike, agree or despise me that's all fine - SHARE AND RE-POST THE VIDEO.
...or I'll steal all the trainers from your local Foot Locker.

DOWNLOAD MP3 HERE

Radio Rust Podcast Episode 21 Plus Some Spooky Boobies .

2011-08-07T18:54:00.000+01:00

What a seriously amazing photo - Smut and the Shining. Do it!

Anyway...Yes. Dribble.

Late as always so apologies as always.

Yet another buch of ecletic noise picked from the crates in between the usual babbling nonsense that falls out of my dipshit mouth.

The playlist goes something like this although almost certainly in a different order....
As usual thanks for the ears. Hugely appreciated.

Kool G Rap & Polo - Death Wish
13 & God - Death Major
Brewer and Shipley - All Along The Watchtower
The Reptiles - Floating
Poor Righteous Teachers - Ghetto We Love
Ronnie and de Ronnies - Daar In De Vilderness
Del - Wack MC's (Request)
Dave Van Ronk - Motherless Children
Theory 77 - Sick Industry (WATCH THE VIDEO HERE)

Another new video - "Drop Out"

2011-08-06T08:41:00.002+01:00

Two videos in two days. I'm on it.

Quick little thing I slung together for "Drop Out" off the new album Let's Be friends.

Coming pretty soon now...honest.

I wrote this two days before I lost my job - in the words of Silent Eclipse "Government Piss off!"

But whatever, not bitter. The commute was a bitch.

This is probably the only track that isn't downright STUPID off the whole CD.

Even though it sort of is.

Enjoy.

.....And here's a naked chick in a box.

Screwing Dev...... Video-Jack! Woo!

2011-08-04T10:13:00.011+01:00

There's a nice dubious caption for you....

Yet another side project to keep me totally distracted from finishing my other stuff.

I don't know why I can't just stick to the plan sometimes.

Meh...whatever.

It's a video. Yay!

I reckon this one will either be greeted with a smile or a punch. Apologies in advance - I just felt like doing it. Come on...it's got boobs and blood in it? What more do you want??

No offence to the original artists involved.

It's really aimed at "Popular" music today (ie: manufactured) and specifically the industry that churns it out. No huge concept or anything.

This will mark a change in some of the music I make after the "Let's Be Friends" album is released (very nearly done - being honest this time). There's only so many silly/punchy songs you can make in one sitting. I really like the project though. It's weird and amusing - to me at least.

After that I'm going somewhere completely different.

Anyway, this Dev thing. It's basically Adbusters for the ears.

I screwed with the original instrumental, did the cuts, wrote the words and had a shout for a while.

Spence hooked me up with a friend of his to dick with the video super quick - and I have to say he did a pretty tight job considering the god-awful crap I emailed him! I'm rubbish. He's clearly not.

Many, many thanks guys.

If you do like this it'd be super cool if you could share the video all over the friggin' place. Wherever - I don't care. Thanks in advance. Totally enjoyed this. There'll be more.

Video edit by Markus Varnetovich, project co-ordination by The P!nch. 'Fanks guys!

And now a picture of Poe lounging in the attic. Just to take the edge off. I rescued her don't you know......Ping!

"October Lament" Mix (2004) - Roper & Theory77

2011-05-26T09:25:00.002+01:00

I was digging through a mountain of ancient and unlabelled CDR's up in the attic the other day. Amongst the horrific, naive, inept and moody rap stuff, I re-discovered a couple of old mixes.
I thought I might as well share this one or at the very least have it preserved somewhere for my own reference as I'd forgotten all about it until now.

This is an uncharacteristically simple and bare bones mix of old and odd records that I put together a long time ago with Mr Willet.
Kind of a "Press play and stick some effects in there" sort of deal.

"October Lament" is the deliberately wanky, artsy title that he came up with to make him smile.
Somehow all the tracks relate to death and/or the Devil in one way or another which, as far as I'm aware, was an accident.

It's insane how long ago it seems that I did this - almost seems like a past life or something.
A very peculiar feeling.

It's a good soundtrack for a rainy day and as it's raining as I'm uploading it I guess it's a pretty apt time for it to surface again.

Enjoy.

DOWNLOAD/LISTEN HERE

Fidel Cutstro + Theory 77 beat tape coming soon...

2011-05-20T12:45:00.000+01:00

Seeing as I've been in Brighton for three years now I thought it was about time I walked round the corner for a cut at this fools house.

Ian's a good guy. A super genuine, no bullshit and ultra friendly chump who has always put up with my slightly abrasive opinions over the years.
He's also got a demon record collection and a vast hip-hoppery knowledge without the usual arrogant, nerdy crap that often comes with it.

I met him in 1999 at the BattleJam in Chichester.
I think we were both in the finals. I won the thing for two years running and then I wasn't allowed to compete after that. I judged. Stoopid B-boys...obviously intimidated by my youthful good looks.
I had hair back then too - sort of.

Sidetracked...

Oh yeah. Ian and I have been talking about doing a mix/beat/cut-up tape recently and it looks like it's actually going to happen. Should be pretty fun.
At present it's going to be a two part thing but we might end up chopping both our sections together who knows...

Looking forward to the final result.
Haven't worked with anyone for nearly sixteen years...christ that's insane now that I think about it!

Here's a little clip from the other day.
We didn't really discuss much and he showed me a load of fancy equipment that I didn't understand.
I got distracted and was generally a twat. Helpful.

You can download his "Uncooked Raw" mix HERE from his jolly little Soundcloud page.

Stay tuned for news an' ting.

Radio Rust Podcast Episode 20 BEEEEETCH!!! - Losing jobs for shitty Royal shindigs. Summer up the idiot.

2011-05-11T15:11:00.000+01:00

Episode twenty? Holy crap....If I do say so myself, this show's a pretty good one. I even sound a little like I know what I'm doing on here. Nuts.

Blahdy blah, yeah lost my job yesterday. Government cut-backs, Royal weddings, War and other UK twattery. Whatever. It's Summer. I can cope with being a bum again for a while.
Also means I can catch up on the mountain of half finished music and weird projects that have been sitting there laughing at me over the past year or so. Expect a load of new stuff from me soon. Stay tuned.

Also like to take this oppurtunity to thank everyone that subscribes to this show every month (ish?).
It means a lot and I truly appreciate it. Never thought this would be as popular as it weirdly is.
So thank yuh!
Hope I continue to keep you entertained for a while more.

Playlist Action -

Biz Markie - "Funk is Back"
Hawk and a Hacksaw - "Waltz for String and Tuba"
The prick that is ME - "Notskee" (crappy Youtube rip) WATCH HERE
Kenny Ball and his Jazzmen - "Old Man Mose is Dead"
Merlin and Bomb the Bass - "Megablast (Rap Version)"
Josh Martinez - "Tour is War"
Woven Hand - "Singing Grass"
Mans Best Friend - "Rep Resent"
Mellow Candle - "Silver Song"
B.Dolan - "Reptilian Agenda" (Theory 77 Remix)
Brother Ali - "Champion"

DOWNLOAD SHOW MP3/SUBSCRIBE/LISTEN HERE

B.Dolan - "Reptilian Agenda" - Theory 77 Remix

2011-05-11T15:10:00.000+01:00

Yes indeedy. Exclusive B.Dolan Remix time.
So stoked he asked me to do this. Mannnny thanks mister.

You can download it directly via Strange Famous Records HERE
or if the link is dead by the time you click that then you can also grab it from me on my weird Soundcloud page that I really should use a little more....HERE

Many thanks people.
Enjoy.

Pale ENGLISH kid raps fast!

2011-03-30T14:59:00.000+01:00

Yeah I know.... I just had to do it.
I'm sure some people will take this way too seriously - it's not a battle. Just dumb old me.
It made me smile so there.

If you do rate it then feel free to re-post it - hugely appreciated.
ENJOY!

RADIO RUST "HALF LOVED" EPISODE 19!!!

2011-02-24T19:57:00.000Z

Well this months show was going to be a sort of twisted Valentine special but, as always, I got side-tracked and now it's super late.

So it's half that and half whatever. No worries.

You can expect the usual rambling tangents from me in between a bunch of good music.

Enjoy lovers everywhere.

Behold the playlist....

Kool Keith - "Sex Style"

Julia Lee - "Gotta Give Me What You Got" Buck 65 - "Gee Whiz"

Bo Carter - "Let Me Roll Your Lemons"
B.Dolan - "Bail it Out" (Theory 77 Remix) EGGSKLOOSIVE!

Gloria Jones - "Tainted Love"Watsky - Untitled You Tubery

Screamin' Jay Hawkins - "Put A Spell On You"
Casual - "You Flunked"

Rachel really likes the picture I've put with this one.

Oh yes, she really does.

DOWNLOAD/SUBSCRIBE/LISTEN/MP3 ACTION HERE!!!!

SICKO WITH SKILLS.

2011-01-20T08:43:00.001Z

I somehow managed to get Mr Bougie from "Cinema Sewer" to do a quick sketch for Rachel over Christmas. Well, I say somehow but I guess I did send him a load of smutty pictures of her.

Born to perv. Can't help it.

She was pretty stoked with it too.

So much so that she wont even take it out of the cellophane until we get it framed - observe....

I found a link to another ridiculously talented illustrator through Bougies page - and this guy is into some seriously NASTY subject matter to say the very least.

Whoever this nutcase is he's been posting his work anonymously - probably a wise move considering how many people it'll offend!

Have to admit, I was pretty blown away by it all and spent friggin' ages on there. Didn't even get to the end there's so much. All his work is heavily fetish based with varying levels of sexualised violence.

And yes, the guy is an absolute sicko.

Here's a few bits I grabbed for one reason or another and I'll be keeping those reasons to myself.
I'm a nice guy after all.

Er....Enjoy?

Yeah, that top one IS a girl on the slab (check the post autopsy stitching....)

Feel free to never look at this blog again.....

"NOW HEADBUTT THE CAMERA SEXY!"

2011-01-16T14:05:00.000Z

Amongst many other wrong films I got for Santa's Birthday I got this...which isn't particularly wrong I suppose.

"Female Vampire" AKA "The Bare Breasted Countess" AKA "Erotikill" etc etc etc...

Basically it does what it says on the tin.

Jess Franco made over 160 films in his time. Most of which were utterly dreadful it has to be said. He was a pretty inept director but his films are weirdly compelling and I've got a fair stack of the woeful little specimens in my collection. That's undoubtedly because his output is usually themed around Vampires, Lesbianism, gore (kind of), and weirdness - sometimes all the above.

Oh, and he did a load of smut too.

"Faceless" is pretty good I suppose now that I think of it. Plus it's got Brigette Lahaie in it that used to do things to me when I saw her in early Darkside magazines at school.

I'm just being honest.

I started watching this while doing press-ups (not a euphemism kids) guessing that being a Franco flick I wouldn't have to pay much attention to the plot as he usually doesn't really bother with such things.

Gratuity? Yes please. This did make me chuckle.

Apparently old Franco was shacked up with Lina Romay (who was apparently quite the exhibitionist - no shit!) so I guess that's why we get this epic intro that consists solely of lingering zoom shots of her chest bottom and disco bush.

She even smacks her face into the lens at one point.

Shall we edit that out? No of course not. Ha ha...

Gotta love the early seventies.

Check it out.

Then tell me how this is on Youtube actually...hmmm.

RADIO RUST PODCAST 18 - Stupid late!

2011-01-16T10:20:00.001Z

Another late Podcast. I'm getting predictable. I've got some feeble excuses but I'm not going to bore you with such crappery - I'll just get on with it.

To make up for the fact that the last show was filled up freaky cartoon music this months playlist is predominately Hip Hop. I've got to pretend I'm tough again. I also have lots of guns. Here's the playlist kind of...

Percee P - "Puttin' heads to bed"
Mr Lif - "Live from the Plantation"
Craig Mack - "Real Raw"

Extra Prolific - "Brown sugar"
Silver Bullet - "Never Authorise Apocalypse"

CCS - "Sixteen Tons"
Theory 77 - NEW THING WITHOUT A TITLE YET!!!
Cab Calloway - "Minnie the Moocher"
Eydea and Abilities - "Now"

Next month is going to be totally differnt. Apologies for the delay.
Hope you liked the show. Loves yuh - Your friend Mike.

DOWNLOAD/SUBSCRIBE/LISTEN/DO A JIG/ HERE!!!!

That's Rachel. She's the boss. I'm ridiculously lucky for a moron. It's also a brag. Get your dribble on.

THIS MADE ME TOILET....

2011-01-14T19:10:00.001Z

No it really did. I'm not proud.

Years and years ago my idiot Father got a Sky Satellite dish and stuck it way down in the bottom of the garden. He didn't want it on the outside of the house for some reason.

He also painted it green......what a dick my Dad is sometimes. Because of that little slab of genius we constantly had those black maggots dancing all over the screen and pissing us all off.

An inspired decison.

That said I managed to fill up countless VHS tapes of YO MTV before it died for good.

Yeah, so Ed Lover and co were a little bit dumb but they knew their shit, had passion and were sincere honest hosts unlike todays sterilised, poncey, piss haired fopps you get on there.

Found this clip the other day of Kane doing some '88 stuff. He kills it with literally no effort whatsoever. Reminds me of quite how sick he really was (is?).

Enjoy and be close to a loo.

BOO! HALLOWEEN PODCAST TWO AND NOO TRACK TOOOOO!!!!

2010-10-30T17:30:00.002+01:00

Greetings spooky peeps. Apologies for the delay. I meant to get this out there a little earlier but I've had the plague for a week or so - I've been busy sweating out evil demons into the mattress. The music I've brought along should make up for the spluttery, whiny and snot-fuelled hosting....Here's the track list although I think I've cocked up the order. Not to worry.

Jack Zacherley - "Happy Halloween"

Billy Gholston - "Monsters a-go-go"

Hans Conreid - "Dracula Trot"

Theory 77 - Something new and disturbing that I haven't titled yet. Try not to take this one too seriously ladies...

October Country - "My Girlfriend is a Witch"

Depth Charge - "Dead by Dub"

Some chump - something truly dreadful

Tony and the Monstrosities - "Igors Party"

Outpost 31 - Untitled Demo

Messer Chups - "Mobile Coffin"

DOWNLOAD/SUBSCRIBE/LISTEN HERE KIDS!

Yeah that's me doing a rush job murder on a pumpkin. This one was nothing special. I think next year I'm going all out like those nutters you see online who go all Michelangelo and get all sculpture mental...

Pretty weird that I look like I'm about twelve here.

Probably because all the snot behind that dumb-shmuck face had swelled up the mask and ironed all the wrinkles out.

I'm four hundred years old.

I also look like I've been crying.

Which I had.

I'm such a girl.

And that's a pretty rubbish pumpkin.

Regarding my new track on this show.

She said this....

"You can't play that! People will think you're a psycho..."

Happy Halloween!

Holy Crap....

2010-10-30T17:27:00.002+01:00

Still trying to figure out quite how he did this.
Either way - dope!

Radio Rust Podcast - Episode 16.... Extra sweaty.

2010-09-12T19:07:00.002+01:00

This months show.
As usual, expect a load of mumbling crap from me with the occasional screw up plus a live insect swallowing....

Here's the vaguely accurate play list:

- Jingle time.
- The Music Machine "Come on in"
- Roscoe Holcomb "Ain't got no sugar"
- Jedi Mind Tricks feat The Rugged Man "Uncommon Valour: A Vietnam Story"
- Woven Hand "Cripplegate: Standing on Glass"
- Bob Landers with Willie Joe and his Unitar "Cherokee Dance"
- Cenobites "I was Forgotten"
- Hank Williams "Ramblin' Man"
- Sage Francis "Waterline" (Theory 77 Remix) - EXCLUSIVE KIDS!
- Company Flow "Bad Touch Example"
- Some '45 that the grey potato put me onto.

LISTEN/DOWNLOAD/SUBSCRIBE OR WHATEVER HERE!

That's Loki doing the Vampire thing.....

He's pretty cool for a ball of fluff.

Sage Francis "Waterline" - It's my remix innit?....

2010-09-12T18:44:00.003+01:00

Greetings children!
I know it's been a while since my last post. Apologies.
Loads of stuff to come pretty soon.
I've been busy as hell and I'm totally worn out.
Having said that I'm amped like a four year old on Pepsi over the new stuff I'm working on.....Secret steez!

Here's a quick freebie to make up for my absense.
This is my remix for "Waterline" by Sage Francis.
Hope you dig it.

GRAB THE REMIX MP3 HERE

This is the video the guys posted about it all.

RADIO RUST PODCAST EPISODE 15 - You know the drill...

2010-07-27T18:59:00.002+01:00

Yeah, yeah Ok.....I've been busy over the past couple of months.
Apologies for the stupid delay.
This Michael here has issues.

I am literally a moron.

Here's the shoddy, none-too-accurate Playlist for this months show.

- Jingle of Joy.
- Murray Schaff (maybe?) - "Tombstone Number Nine"
- Blind Willie Johnson - "Nobodies Fault But Mine"
- Leaders Of The New School - "What's Next?"
- Davendra Banhart - "Cosmos And Demos"
- The Sonics - "Louie Louie"
- Some band I forgot since recording from the vinyl - "Cowboys and Indians"
- Woody Guthrie - "Pastures Of Plenty"
- Blind Willie McTell - "Cold Winter Day"
- Relatively Clean Rivers - "Persian Caravan"
- Master Ace - "Saturday Night Live"

DOWNLOAD/SUBSCRIBE/LISTEN/WHATEVER HERE!!!

Unreleased Wotsits.

2010-06-26T11:52:00.001+01:00

Just got off the phone to Waxer who told me about a messed up dream he had involving Easter Island statues made entirely out of Wotsits.....
Yep, sometimes I'm glad I live so far away.

I mean look at him.
This is how he fills his days.

He also told me that he played something of mine on his Disco-Scratch Radio show.
Some time back I stole a beat from him and did a little verse and a few cuts with it just for giggles.

God only knows why he played it - If I'd have known I would have put far more effort in!

He called the beat "My poetry's Deep" and I sent it to him as "My poetry's Shallow"... Ha! Oh my ribs.

Anyhow, if you want to check it out you can on the link below.
It wont be released ever and you'll only hear it there.

His shows are always pretty kick-arse - especially if you like old school UK Hip Hop and/or you're a complete fucking nerd.

Check it out kids!

DISCO SCRATCH SHOW WITH THE BIG NOSED CRETIN

Incidentally, if you ever find yourself travelling back in time and staying at a scabby bed and breakfast for Fresh 97, never, NEVER, sleep below this guy.
It's like an Igaunadon brushing up on it's Opera skills all night.

"Put That DOWN!!!....You Scabby Little Urchin!"

2010-06-17T19:07:00.001+01:00

Back when I had an utterly ridiculous blonde mop on my head, I had a bit of a dickish child minder who used to chastise me whenever I picked up things from the floor. This had something to do with germs or some nonsense which was kind of hypocritical considering her huge, dysfunctional and continually sick family.
I'm convinced this early advice has had something to do with why I've always found myself collecting interesting junk on the street wherever I go.

I don't know if I stare at the floor more than most. It's possible I guess. It might have something to do with an early lack of confidence and now it's just habit. Who knows? Maybe it's something as simple as never really having any money or a job until recently and the years of bumming around with a backpack has finely tuned my radar for freebies.
Whatever it is, I stumble across all sorts of weird and wonderful knick knacks.
Sometimes it's truly bizarre. It's like the universe offers up items that I might enjoy or need at a later date. Clues. Notes. Who can say how this ball of mud works. This stuff just finds me I swear.

Well it all now lives in the attic with the rest of the cool stuff - I know that I'm bad and I should have tried to return at least some of this crap but....

Here's just a few things off the top of my head that I've found on my travels..... Three separate credit cards (in the same week), half a foreign passport, a folder of cranial x-rays, countless keys, A polish ladies ID card, cash (always appears in times of utter desperation - very odd), torn up wedding photos, hate notes, bible pages, jewellery, a busted bootleg porno DVD called "Breakup Sex" (again very relevant for that particular day. I forgot about that.), unsent lesbian love letters, Shotgun shells, passport photos, a horse shoe, bones, a resurfaced Coffin handle, Coffin nails, A human skull (I left that behind though after much deliberation), police records, accident reports, violent crime confessions (with graphic photo evidence), children's poems, prison journals, an eye glass, foreign currency…
The list go's on and on and on.

It's all a welcome resource for me to draw from I have to admit!

I got into a period where I made a load of collages with all these scraps of paper and photographs and bits of text.
I just used to lay it all on the floor and stare for a while.
Certain pieces just seemed to "fit" together and it all would become relevant on the page.
I've used a bunch of these"found" items in the past for art, inspiration and countless songs (the house in "Secrets Left" for example).
I find myself obsessing over these supposed coincidences all the time.

This one here is from many years back that I still find interesting to this day. I stuck a couple of doodles on there. That seemed to work too.

The world's a funny place that continues to delight and piss me off in equal measures. And now for dinner. See yuh.

If you haven't heard from me.....

2010-06-02T19:51:00.003+01:00

It's happened again.
Every day, wherever I go I'll stop to scribble notes on pocketed scraps of paper and every six months or so I'll find myself at the bottom of a self-made mountain.
At the moment I've got so many huge projects on the go that I've all but lost track of where I'm going.

Ideas. Half finished tracks. Piles of scrap paper. Scrawled, illegible edits.
Dozens of beats and bits of music I've made that I can't decide which words to match with.
Lost or forgotten songs. I need to organise and my mind just rattles on and on and on and on...
It's overwhelming and I'm at a loss where to start.
I Lose sleep. I feel I should get up and get on with things before I finally go insane.

When it gets on top of me I get frustrated and just sit vacantly in the attic "picking" at piles of half-made material. It's daunting. Mostly I sit and scratch for an hour merely for a distraction and then get pissed with myself that I haven't really moved forward with anything tangible.

This is what I have currently on the go...
-The "Epitaphs" LP
- A kind of battle LP
- A sort of burlesque EP
- an old UK Hip Hop version of "Reasons"
- Two hyper serious tracks
- A new "Lost and found" instrumental LP
- And two new complete Live shows.... Headaches!!!

I seem to work better to deadlines sometimes.

I don't know why I feel I have to explain my output and yet it feels better to put it down here.
At least now I can actually look at what I have in front of me.
It's not a "Writers Block" - kind of a twisted opposite. It's that I try to do too much at the same time and eventually the funnel is bound to block.

I don't know why I let it get to me.
I used to be the same about painting. If I didn't produce something each day I'd almost feel physically sick.
It's an odd and unfathomable feeling when ultimately I know that it doesn't really matter.
I do all this for myself and will mostly give it all away as downloads anyway.
Plus a lot of it wont be to everyones taste.

So why do I care when it all gets done?
I have no clue. There's no monetary incentive that's for sure.
I don't feel I have to or even care to prove myself anymore. I just want to keep pushing myself and share the results with whoever wants to listen. I haven't been slacking. Quite the opposite.

Sorry for the rant - I'm at work and this is what happens.
There's always fire. Stay tuned.

YAY FOR SMUT! - Radio Rust Podcast Episode 14

2010-05-30T11:18:00.006+01:00

No Dan this month so this one's slightly more organised.
The absence of an excitable loon dancing around the attic makes the task a little easier.
He'll be back next month and we'll get silly again.

You may have noticed that I've started to write play lists for the show (well, nearly).
Wonders will never cease. R has been grilling me about that since the very start of Radio Rust.

Speaking of the lady, the photograph here is one from around 900 that she took at a neo-burlesque/fetish show we attended recently.
My eyes still haven't recovered from all the sordid joy on display a couple of feet from my face. Best seats.
No specific details - My Mum would be appalled.
Having said that, I was conceived in Amsterdam whilst on a Glue binge....so probably not.
She told me that little gem one Christmas a few years back.
Ta Mum.

Anyhow I like this show.
Here's the sketchy play list minus all the yakkin'.
Enjoy.

- Can't remember and I can't find it now. Whatever. Amazing, trust me.
- The Seeds - yeah, it's the obviou track ruined by a deodorant ad....
- Ora - "Seashore"
- N.A.S.A (feat Kool Keith and Tom Waits) - "Spacious Thoughts"
- The Groundhogs - "Groundhog" Request
- Dick Dixon - "Crawl"
- Theory 77 - "Re-check the technique" (Guru tribute)
- Robert Johnson - "Me and the Devil Blues" Request
- Show of Hands (I think?) - "Moondance"
- Stezo - "To the Max" Request

DOWNLOAD, LISTEN OR SUBSCRIBE HERE KIDS

Yes. It's all very excellent.

Corporate scumbags.

2010-05-10T22:18:00.003+01:00

I Just got a crappy email from Sony about this one that I put together a while back.
Ridiculous and depressing but there you go.
I'd grab it while you can.

I'm kind of lost for words for once.

I put this together the day after the event and called it "Thrillery 77" because I'm pretty stupid I guess.... RIP Michael - Hope you found some place that treats you a little better. That's all.

DOWNLOAD "THRILLERY 77" MP3 HERE

Keith "Guru" Elam - Gangstarr R.I.P

2010-05-02T13:23:00.002+01:00

The world of music has been dealt a bad hand these past couple of years to say the least.
Yet another sad day and an undeniably tragic loss.

It's always slightly irritated me that when an artist passes away we have hundreds of people proclaiming he or she was "The greatest (fill in the blanks) of all time" when in reality, without speaking ill of the dead, the person in question was never all that great. You can decide who I'm talking about.

To be completely honest here Guru has never really been one of my favourite MC's yet it's without question that Gangstarr made a hell of a lot of consistently incredible, solid and pure Hip Hop music in their time.
So much so in fact that I can ignore his opening two lines on "DWYCK" about lemonade and Mr Willis...

There's no argument that the first four LP's at least were undiluted classics and absolutely essential for anyone wanting schooling in the essence of Hip Hop.
Christ, I sound like one of those bitter old B-boys who take themselves far too seriously at the moment...
Get over it you dick.

It's a sad fact that since his demise I've kind of, I dunno..."rediscovered" I guess, the music of Gangstarr.
Over the past week I've dug out all my old LP's and have been listening to it all exclusively and relentlessly on the way to and from work. I'll admit it and I'm ashamed to say that I had actually forgotten how good they were. It's been fun re-listening to "No More Mister Nice Guy" through headphones as the last time I did that was at school on a cassette dub in my walkman! Nuts.

So anyhow, I've been up in the attic in the evenings putting this little scratch tribute together - hope you enjoy it. If you do then feel free to re-post the video/link wherever you like.
Share away.
Thanks a lot.

Rest in peace Guru - you'll be missed.

DOWNLOAD THE "RE-CHECK THE TECHNIQUE" MP3 HERE

Radio Rust Podcast Episode 13 with some other guy...

2010-04-19T17:23:00.001+01:00

Huge and hectic Podcast this month featuring a very good/idiotic buddy of mine - Dan "Duce" Lish.

Dancing old men, Rambling speeches, no room whatsoever, bust equipment and me being forced into an impromptu scratch session against my will.

This has to be the most disorganised show to date.
That said it's also got some excellent old, very old and new music for you lucky children - Enjoy.
You don't need a playlist - it's all gravy.

Feel free to say howdy once you've stopped looking at my cats exit.

DOWNLOAD/LISTEN/SUBSCRIBE HERE

There's a weirdo in the Attic.

2010-04-05T09:26:00.003+01:00

I recorded a bunch of scratch practice stuff up in the attic yesterday.
I'll get round to actually taping a new routine or something soon maybe.
More bloody "Ahhhhhh"....

This first one's just me flicking through old UK 12"s and having a bit of a sweaty five minutes...

....And this is over a load of new beats of mine.
I was taking a break from writing lyrics to these.
Load of new noise to come. Yay!

Psychotic girls, Fighting Chumps, Booze and Creepshow.

2010-04-02T13:25:00.003+01:00

Wednesday night for the most part truly sucked.
I ended up going out with a bunch of guys and girls from work on a big "see you later" for a pretty decent guy I now no longer work next to - and got to bed at around three in the morning.
Turns out that I work with an absolute nutcase....

I'm not going to go into too much detail because I don't think that'd be very decent of me - even if she did try to pull my eyes out at one point!

Two hours of an exceptionally lovely line manager and I trying to avert numerous suicide attempts while she tried her damnedest to punch, bite, slap and head butt me.
Luckily for me I'm a little bit stronger than her and I managed to keep hold of the lady in question until after three refused taxis I had managed to carry the screaming and kicking bundle to the police station, steal her phone and call her ever-so-pleased Mum up.

Traffic stopped, people got out, abuse was hurled Mike-wards, and two utter cock munchers tried to start a fight with me because they all thought this dumb bint was being assaulted.
I ended up having to smack a dude in the chops - not proud.

Anyhow - the next day was horrific but luckily I have a very kind friend up in that stinky old London who made it all better.
I came home to, I have to say, the most poorly packaged DVD I have ever recieved.
Typical Willet style! No note, no writing, no explanation - just a blank DVD-R that somehow survived the postal system.

I started checking out all the goodies on there yesterday. Just so you know, if there's an impossible to obtain record or flick then he'll either have it somewhere in the house, forgotten he owns it or know where he can get it. I kid you not - It's fucking ridiculous. The guy is a monster.

Tom Savini's personal camcorder footage from behind the scenes of "Creepshow" - I didn't know this was on the DVD extras so I've got to pick that up. I've still got my VHS copy downstairs.
We're talking in-depth processes of all the make-up, gags, illusions, monsters, pissing about and gore here.
I didn't get to the end last night because I was too wiped out but I got to him building the "Fathers Day" zombie before my eyes sealed up....dreams were made of smiles.

How much of a dick was Stephen King in this film anyhow?
I kind of like it though somehow - what a pleb.
"Meteor shit!" Ha...what a line.
Dungarees and lunacy.

Basically thanks a lot Dan.
I haven't seen you for way too long but I really appreciate it.

Don't mess with drunk chicks.
Happy Nestle day.

B.Dolan shows up at a Rave in Brighton...

2010-03-30T20:26:00.006+01:00

Photos by Rachel Watson - sexpest.

Right then, let's see.
Have I ever written a gig review? No I have not.
Is my first one going to be ridiculously biased? Almost certainly.

I think the closest I got to a gig review was years back when I somehow got to see Tom Waits and most likely bored people to tears on an old radio show.
I gushed on and on for ten minutes or so as I recall.
Around that time I would also stop complete strangers in the street.
I must have been inducing the similar glazed feeling you get when people tell you about the "Weird dream" they had last night....

And once again, I digress.

B.Dolan finally came to the UK and I very nearly didn't get to see him.
I had planned to visit "home" back in Portsmouth to see some friends and go check out the show at the Wedgewood Rooms.
Financial issues, some other crap and the fact that it was sold out meant I just used the time off work to sit up in the attic making music instead.
As it turns out EVERY single UK show had totally sold out due to the guys he was supporting on tour being so insanely popular over here.
After going to Resident Records and being told there was no room at the Inn, I went home ticketless and pissed as hell.

Facebook time. Compose a message.
"Dear Mr Dolan. I am a loser. Please help..."
Two minutes pass.
"Yes Mike you are a loser. I'll put you on the guest list"
(Please note: not exact words)

What a lovely beardy man he is.
Maybe I should get down to actually telling you about the show?
Tangents for president. Shoot me.

Concorde 2 - Brighton. Monday night. Pissing with rain all day.

Dolan comes shuffling on to the gloomy stage just after nine and starts fiddling with his little mixing board as Rachel fiddles with her camera and I fiddle with my nuts.

The opening weirdness of "Reptilian Agenda" starts and he faces the crowd in half a George Bush mask miming the opening speech of the track.
Slightly unnerving to say the least.
As the first line hits the crowd "The cameras eye dilates..." I realise three things:

1) This is going to be a sick show.
2) Holy shit that bass is going to knock my teeth out.
and
3) I may have just pooped myself.

Seriously - from where we were standing the bass in there was insane!
I remember doing a turntable routine with a bass tone in there years back and I realise now that I must have been damaging the audiences internal organs.

It's always interesting to see a huge unhinged guy in a boiler suit getting a very young and perplexed crowd to scream "The Queen of England is a Lizard"...
That's got to be one of the most unique Hip Hop call-and-responses I've ever heard.

Dolan's set consisted mainly of material from the new "Fallen House Sunken City" LP which I highly recommend.
If you are new to this guy and rate solid, intelligent, almost early Public Enemy in it's intensity Hip Hop then do yourself a massive favour and check out "Fifty ways to bleed your customer" - you'll be sold.

I'm pretty sure "Bail it out" was next up.
The crowd got to learn that since being in the UK he'd been learning some new words ("How many people in here are skint?") and sampling new animal based products ("Bag of meat"...) before he threw a bunch of fake money into the crowd who went batshit for a while.

"Earthmovers" came on and pounded my eyes back into their sockets which is possibly why he chose to wear dark glasses while he performed it. Highlights there included an impromptu booty shake to the line "back that thing up" - Nice.

The amazing Buddy Peace remix of "Joan of Arcadia" was probably the highlight for me (although it's a tough call) and the crowd pretty much tore the roof off with the "Frowny Crucifix" at the end.

It's possible that, earlier in the night, I may have been a little rude to a guy at the bar about the price of drinks - "has this got gold in it or something?" or words to that effect. Sorry about that.

I'm always slightly concerned when I meet people whose work I admire that they might turn out to be a dick.
I've had the illusion shattered a few times before and now I find it almost impossible to listen to the people in question.
It's highly unlikely but I think if that happened with Tom Waits I'd throw myself under a bus.

I remember feeling the same when I first met Mike-J from the Demon Boyz. Turns out he's an incredibly humble and decent human being.
So I'm glad to say the same about B.Dolan.
Despite the aggressive "Bombzo" stage persona he is, as I'd always suspected, a friendly, approachable and almost quiet guy.
Maybe it's an age thing, I dunno.

He told me that back in Portsmouth the crowd set fire to the fake money he threw out after he came on stage and slated their football team!
How proud I am. Hilarious.
I was born in a town of fights, booze and mainly idiots.

Have you ever seen a guy peel off a boiler suit to reveal an Evel Knievel outfit while shadow boxing to the sounds of "Eye of the Tiger"?
What do you mean no???
He must have been sweating his arse off under all that after nearly half a show of shouting his guts out.
Pretty nuts to witness.
Nothing quite compares to seeing Godzilla personified jumping an imaginary motorcycle over a schoolgirl... It's what Hip hop is all about.

Oh yeah - ONE BREATH LEFT - Go here immediately....

I spent the remainder of the night at the back of the venue chatting to Rachel and watching a couple of middle aged lost-its scream at each other whilst raving their tits off.

Only real bummer about the night was the absence of "Fifty Ways" and "Heart Failure" due to time issues. Not to worry. Next time perhaps.

This isn't much of a review is it?
What do you want from me...
The moral of the story is - B.Dolan = Very good.
Go make yourself acquainted.
Thanks a lot.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering - I didn't really soil myself.

"...Yeah, You heard me right, so go check it online..."

2010-03-26T09:28:00.006Z

If you're not a DJ or an MC I fully expect you to be bored to tears by the end of this....

Quite a few years back when The Plastic Soldiers were still entering battles - Oh yeah, you probably don't know what I'm talking about already.....Start again.

Plastic Soldiers was the turntablist (dumb word, sorry) "Crew" I was a part of with Taz (who has vanished from the face of the earth...) and Shanks (who still cuts and is still exceptionally tasty at it).

So yeah, when we were doing the battles/shows etc we were always trying to think of new and weird crap that had never been done before.
Taz would try to steer our routines towards the kind of more accessible "party" type stuff whereas I would sit firmly at the other end of the spectrum and just want NOISE and blood - I figured if it's a battle then treat it that way and let's have a good old fashioned punch up.
I actually did manage to REALLY offend some people I went up against - apologies for that.
Shanks was great because he always sat somewhere in the middle of all this and balanced us out.
Plus he ALWAYS came up with something truly nuts.
I still like that classical, static, label/needle drag thing we came up with.
Note to self - need to dig out the 4-track tapes at some point.

So yeah, anyhow, Shanks told me he was trying to learn to beatbox through his headphones (turned around and clamped to his face) and cut at the same time. I could be wrong but I think he saw someone awful trying to do something similar - and failing miserably.

Shanks wanted to make it far more complex (as usual) and was trying to actually cut normally while doing the beats himself - which is tough as hell.
I can understand how to do, I dunno, stabs or something while you beatbox but anything beyond that is ridiculously difficult. It's like you need two separate brains.
Seriously - even if you can't beatbox at all get on the turntables and try it out. See what I mean???
I haven't seen anyone do it to any degree of "wow" yet and I'm guessing it probably won't happen.

But that's Shanks.
It did make me think though and to be honest, I don't think I would have learnt how to do this (down there) if it wasn't for his weird little brain.

I started trying to learn how to combine MCing with beat-juggling on the turntables a long, LONG time ago.
Way before I saw Buck 65 live and way before Edan had came out.
I'm just putting that one out there before I go any further.
My first attempts were absolutely dreadful of course and I pretty much gave up on the idea for a while as I couldn't figure out a way of doing it live.

I picked up the straight backspinning and rhyming thing the first time I tried it - It's pretty basic to a certain degree. Then I remembered the old "clamp the headphones to your gob" thing and started to think about taking it further again.

I eventually nailed it and then tested it out live one Halloween - and then forgot about it until I saw the Edan video that someone posted on Youtube on his behalf.

Now not everyone knows what beatjuggling is which is fine (obviously) but dope as that video was, it did read "Edan Rhymes and Beat Juggles Live" - which he's not.
It's backspinning the break with one hand while the other holds the mic.
Still fresh as hell though and they both kill it. Severely.

That's why I swiftly recorded this little clip here.
I start with the backspin/rap thing and various quick cut variations on that before I slow it down to a beat juggle and keep it going that way.
I've searched quite a bit to see if I could find anyone else that does this (and I'm sure there must be?) but I haven't found anything as of yet.
Post this wherever you like.

Just so you know - I'm really not as much of a nerd as I sound right now.
Generally I don't care about the geeky, dull world of scratch fiends. Honest.

This was recorded in our ex-flat on Brighton seafront.
Our landlady was a Voodoo priestess who couldn't cook for shit and collected fire hazards to leave on the stairs.
Glad to be shot of it. I love our new house.

Radio Rust Podcast Episode 12?

2010-03-25T15:02:00.001Z

So i've been doing this podcast for a year? Is that all???
Seems like something I've always done some how....

Anyway - it's raining out there once again but I've got leftover Daal sitting in the kitchen that Rachel made last night so who cares.
Day off, it's 2PM and I'm still in a dressing gown - amazing.

Yeah I know the podcast is horrifically late again - the music within will make up for my tardiness I promise.

This month I've stuck some hip hop action in there along with a bunch of weird and wonderful rarities from the late sixties/early seventies that should freak you out a little bit.
You don't need a track list - she's delicious.... so eat it up.

Now back to finishing a load of new music. It's going to wreck you.

GRAB RADIO RUST 12 HERE - YAY!

Social Phantoms?

2010-03-19T20:06:00.002Z

Apologies in advance for this post but it's been a motherfucker of a day.

As is usual I was falling in and out of sleep on the train home and for some reason I had this little epiphany...

"Social networking sites will eventually become the worlds largest cemeteries".

Quite a statement.
Weirdly enough, that line came to me before I actually thought about the words.

Let's just take Facebook as one example of many.
Now with that site, as far as I'm aware, once a person has set up an account you can't actually completely delete that account.
You can erase all the information/photos etc should you wish but the account remains active.

So what happens when that person keels over?
Seriously - think about that for a minute. It's kind of eerie.

Most people don't share passwords with friends or loved ones (although I do) so if they suddenly kick the bucket they just er... remain.
They stay behind to haunt the lonely, intangible land of cyberspace - forever.

Therefore you are going to have potentially millions of people sending friend requests to the dead.

Even as you read this people are trying to track down ex school friends, ex lovers, ex colleagues and long lost family members who are all dead.
You are going to find people that haven't updated their "status" for years because they've long ago returned to the dirt.
People will remain smiling in photos, sharing old jokes with friends, you'll know what they used to enjoy musically, learn about film preferences, past relationships, sexual preferences, desires, hopes, dreams etc etc....while at the moment you are reading it they will be caring about nothing at all.

Just a thought.

This right here was taken by the incredible Rachel Watson - and yes that is a real skull. She's called Elsie and we discovered her after I crawled under some trees on my stomach in the ancient cemetary behind our house.
It's older than Facebook but won't be for too much longer.
This is all true folks.

Sorry about the downer.
Go listen to the Skelton Music EP and wonder how many of the people on the first track are now internet ghosts.

GRAB IT HERE

Damn I need a drink.....

Bad Back

2010-03-14T08:48:00.003Z

Woken up this morning to a big plate of ouch.
Too much time spent in the attic yesterday. Must remember to go and get some sunshine today.

This is the track I did for last years RISING STYLES CD - For those that don't know Rising Styles is a Hip Hop Festival that runs every year here in the Brighton village.
I'm saying nothing else on the subject for fear of removing myself from yet another Christmas card list.

This one is called "Who's He???"

Go to the SUSPECT PACKAGES site if you want to buy the CD and give the organisers your cash.
We get air.

I yoinked the picture here from Rachel's documents because she's very naughty.....I should go wake her up. Maybe she'll want some crumpets.

Enjoy.

WHO'S HE? MP3 HERE DUMMY.

Charity Shop Nasties and Strangers Boobs.

2010-03-06T15:40:00.001Z

I live in Brighton now with all the "cool" kids and stupid hats - subsequently the Charity shops round these parts are generally pretty dry and devoid of goodies.

I'm not even sure if this is the result of people like me. I know there's a bunch of sensible people in the area who go out constantly to bleed these places of crappy retro clothes to then go on to peddle a load of day glo nightmares for a ridiculous profit in trendy boutiques to the ever flowing stream of dumb fopp tourists and hip arty students. There's good money in it too - If I could be bothered I'd probably do the same.

Me not being the worlds greatest follower of fashion (which can also be read as "give a shit?") when I walk through the doors of these places I'm generally looking for old VHS flicks, cassettes and LPs.

In Brighton mostly this results in a big zero. Nonetheless I can't walk past even the really bad haunts without having a quick rummage. It's a habit that I share with the rest of the nerdy perverts of my ilk.

Anyway, where the hell is this going? I don't know really.

I've been woken up far too early by a big van delivering furniture for the studio and now I've got the cat on my lap who is trying to stop me typing this rubbish. Here he is...

Mum and dad used to run a video rental store back when I was pretty young and even more impressionable. We're talking the days of anything goes cinema here. Any old crap. The pre BBFC golden age of VHS.

Up in my bedroom at night I used to watch all kinds of tapes that I'd shoved into my school bag in secret. Purely based on the garish cover art or some fierce tag-line or something weird that tapped into odd feelings that I didn't yet understand. This was before the 'video nasty' act and the tape seizures came about so I'm talking about covers like "Driller Killer", the rape-revenge flicks, the original "Oasis of the Zombies" cover, "Evil Dead" (obviously) and "Mausoleum" (That one had monster boobs in it that chewed through a guys ribcage in the bath - I shit you not...). Most of the time the cover art was incredible and the film inside was atrociously bad. But that was half the fun. I guess when you're pumping out hundreds of straight-to-video flicks you need to get peoples attention. Sex and violence.

Like this abomination.... "Galaxy of Terror".... Seriously now this one is a real piece of piss! I've included this one because it got me sent home from school with a note for my parents (not good...). I only had the case in my bag too. Still don't know why I was showing it off at school. I remember there being a weird bit where a glass splinter (maybe...) gets stuck in some guys hand and then takes on a life of it's own and crawls further up inside his arm as he desperately tries to get it out.... I stuck this on briefly the other day and took it out pretty much immediately. It was the cover that sucked me in I think. Back then I can't have known why it did - but it's pretty obvious now though (i.e: girl, peril, zombie type thing). Just for the record - Sci Fi or any space crap is not my cup of tea. I have NEVER seen any of the Star Wars series and nor do I want to..... I realise that I may have just lost a bunch of readers and/or fans. Sorry about that.

So yeah, I pretty much saw it all at a probably far too early age - whether or not it's screwed me up much is open to debate. I reckon I'm OK. Rachel might tell you otherwise.

I hate these 24 hour DVD slot machine shops that are springing up everywhere now. Everything is becoming so sanitised and all the fun and interaction of going to a local independent store is all but lost. I remember people coming in to our shop and asking advice and talking crap while I was up a stepladder blu-tacking a "Demons 2" poster above the counter while I looked down some ladies top.

That's what's missing- screwed up pervert children.

You don't get that in Blockbusters bitch!

And Blockbusters? Jesus....That one will have to wait for another post - I hate those scum bags.

If you don't know then you need to know. Evil, evil, evil.

Again, sorry I ramble and digress - the cat is trying to get his hands in my mouth.

Sometimes you do get lucky and the promise of that never allows you to stop hunting.

It's a curse/blessing kind of deal. We were in a stinky charity/furniture shop a while back and, un-friggin-believably, Rachel dug these two gems from the bottom of a huge box of old tapes....

....Jorg Buttgereit's almost art-house, depressing-yet-amazing "Der Todesking" and the animal lovers favourite "Cannibal Ferox" - Utterley mental! I can honestly say that I've never picked up any seized VHS from a charity shop. I did once pick up Lenzi's "Eaten Alive" and the delightfully sordid "Don't go in the House" at a car-boot though. Ahhh such happy days....

I can't claim to actually enjoy Cannibal Ferox all that much - It's hardly a Vegan friendly film after all! - but any flick of the era with John Morghen in it is usually pretty funny - he's such a dick! Not only that, he hated the film and tried a few times to beat the crap out of Lenzi over the animal naughties he filmed. Good lad.

Der Todesking was a new one to me and it was surprisingly good in a very serious/slightly depressing way. It deals with death (obviously - it's called the king of death, numbnuts... having said that I may have translated that wrong so blah...) suicide, murder and decay in a very matter of fact almost documentary type way. There's also hardly any dialogue whatsoever.

Before I go, here's another VHS tape directly from the old shop that I only include here because I embarrassingly discussed this one a little too honestly with Miss Redstone the other night! I watched this one up until the end of the "grave dance" scene one morning before school and all day I couldn't stop thinking about it or understand what these "weird feelings" were - yes folks these were my very first "stirrings"..... Which I guess explains a hell of a lot (!!!) and my "thing" for ladies with oddly coloured hair - along with all things sex/death.....

.....And these are just to brag a bit more to Redstone who likes her junk. One of which isn't even the story of the film - pretty weird as it's supposedly written by the same guy. Oh yeah....both of which are written like a ten year old. You know...something like this.

Over and out.

Radio Rust Episode 11 - Bloody Valentine Podcast.

2010-02-15T18:40:00.004Z

Seeing as it's Valentines day, this months happy-go-lucky Podcast contains romantic ballads about widows, adultery and blood fetish. Yippee!!!

Expect the usual bumbling hosting skills from yours truly and some odd choice of record selection for this wonderful day of love and Hallmark profiteering.
Wax from Zappa, Eric Burdon, Tony Joe, Ten Years, Fever Tree, Cohen etc....

Go check that and previous
RADIO RUST ACTION HERE

Music to divorce to.

Lots of rain. Lots of lightning....

2010-02-11T22:53:00.001Z

I'm walking past a television set the other day and I pretty much soil myself as I hear the unmistakeable "WITCH!" echoes from the Suspiria soundtrack. However before I can go and grab a cup of fancy tea and sit down for some "Girls dropping from the ceiling" action I quickly realise that all was not well in TV land.....

What is this crap? Who are these bumbling blonde simpletons? Simple - I was watching Hollyoaks....

What in the name of holy piss soaked hell is the world coming to?

So...in an utterly disgusted protest I'm posting the supermarket raid music from the original Dawn of the Dead (not that wack running-dead, piss awful character remake). Now get the shopping done....

L Alba dei Morti Viventi BITCHES!

Goblin - leave those synthetic, vacuous, footballer bagging tarts alone.

Saucy Teachers and Strangle Hands

2010-02-04T21:35:00.017Z

Her name was Denise. That's all I can tell you.

It's all true. I sometimes wonder what happened to her.
There are some hugely worrying references in there should you wish to dig them out.

This more sombre one is called "PAPER SOLACE" - the third track from last years "For All It's Worth" CD. Still available from the No Frills Records site.

Paper Solace MP3

....And here's something slightly different from end of the same CD. This is "BACK TO BASICS".

Smash it up.

Back To Basics MP3

I'm off to bed. Busy weekend coming up. James and his lovely lady are coming to stay. Cello action in the attic. Banjo, Guitar, poncy poems, Scratchy noise.... Loads of brand new music to come. I'm excited.

Peas.

Some drawing I did. That's all.

2010-02-03T22:18:00.001Z

Lady Gaga your face off...

2010-02-03T22:00:00.003Z

Right then - Here's the track from last year that got me into a bunch of crap. Really.

It was never intended to insult anyone and wasn't ever put out there to be taken seriously. It was just a tool.
I'm guessing that the people that branded me a "Sell-out" didn't pay a great deal of attention to the lyrics!
My reasons behind making this are all explained within the song - it's pretty clear kids.
I'm an idiot and it's fun to be dumb sometimes. No offence.

So here's the track if you want to play it at weddings when you get a request for the girl in question....Download the kermit suit soundtrack down there...

"LOVE GAIN" MP3

...And here's another video from a while back just to shush the purists for a couple of minutes.
Oh sod it - grab the "WHO'S HE?" MP3 here too. That'll do.Can't quite help myself now....

Skeleton Music EP

2010-02-01T21:59:00.001Z

Here's the "Skeleton Music" EP I put together for last years Halloween.

It features some brand new tracks, remixes of previous material and spooky/idiotic chopped-up mayhem - you have the R to thank for the stupid Beetlejuice "Of the Dead" Remix.....

DOWNLOAD - don't get scared now.

A Bunch of Incredible MCs....

2010-02-01T21:36:00.002Z

Here's a few tracks I've had in my ears from this weeks "Get me off this god awful train to work" playlist.

Most of this little comp is made up of nutty fast rap stuff that I seem to be obsessed with as of late - plus a few golden age classics thrown in. All of these fine fellows are, in my opinion, SICK and they kept the commute tolerable last week.

Most will probably know a lot of the tracks already - if you don't you're going to poop yourself.
Trust me - I'm vegan.

Downliggedy

B.Dolan "One Breath Left" Remix

2010-02-01T21:29:00.003Z

I've had a fair few people asking where they can get hold of this so here's the B.Dolan "One Breath Left" Remix I did a while back. Enjoy.

Here's a brag because I'm an utter dick.....

"Immediately upon receiving this remix, I burned it to a cd and drove around listening to it in the car and smoking. Hard. As. Fuck. Incredible turntable work throughout. Highlights all my favorite parts of the writing, even. I can’t ask for much more than this out of a remix. You murderrrred this man. Jesus Christ."

DOWNLOAD THE JOY!

REASONS V:1

2010-02-01T21:18:00.001Z

Here's another mix/assault I did a while back.
Recorded by the sea with some turntables, a loop pedal, some old wax, and a bunch of nutty effects.
It's pretty mental.

Some of you will have already yoinked it from
WAXER's blog where he said this about it through his massive nose....

"...Even though Theory has a wide range of skills with Rhyming, poetry, spoken word, turntablism, production, engineering and knowledge of various acoustic instruments, he often returns to his roots… it’s with this that brings me to this piece of devastatingly fresh audio, a just over 30 minutes mix of def old school tracks and razor sharp cuts. This ain’t your average “Golden Era” mix with a load of predictable tracks in there either… there are a lot of tracks you hardly ever hear, so massive props for that! He still intersperses that with def tracks like “Lyrics Of Fury” & “Breakin Bells” but biggest pat on the back goes for including one of my fave Hip Hop tracks ever, “Holy War....”

DUCE did the cover
And it's dope as the pope. Which of course makes perfect sense.

DOWNLICK IT HERE!!!!

"Somewhat Familiar" Mix

2010-01-30T18:12:00.014Z

Right then here's the first of many mixes on this Blog thing.

I'll be posting endless freebies on here from now on so keep checking in or just subscribe or whatever it is you kids do on these sites....
In all honesty I have very little clue.

I did this half-hour noise-fest sort of late-ish last year. Some of you guys will already have it I'm sure.
It features a ton of familiar beats and breaks that most folks will have heard a thousand times before although not put together like this. So there.

If you're not a fan of turntable Gymnastics and nutty chopped up edits then this probably isn't for you.
If you are then you'll likely soil yourself.

I suppose that this is my first attempt at an "accessible" sort of mixtape/collage thing - or something along those lines. I don't normally go down this road.

I'd also like to state here that despite my childish cover for this one I, in no friggin' way whatsoever, recommend the "Power" LP to anyone. Or girls with guns. Well maybe that.

Hope you dig it. Enjoy yourselves.
DOWNLOAD!!!

Mould and Perverts

2010-01-28T20:56:00.014Z

Back in the early eighties I had a bunch of magazine subscriptions at my local Newsagent/ sweet shop down the road and the guy that ran the place was sketchy as hell.
Seriously. He seemed like a pervert to me before I even realised what a "pervert" was!
Having said that... what is a pervert exactly? Me? I don't know... anyway what the hell was I twatting on about here? Jeeeeezus....

There were the stories in the playground. Hardly concrete stuff but there you go. Kids are kind.
These days, when I go back to visit the folks, I sometimes see him standing outside the shop like he's always done (albeit totally grey, a bunch older and verging on obese) and he icks me out to this day. Excellent stuff....

Yeah. Blah. Back to it.
I seem to remember getting a hell of a lot of sordid stuff from that place so I guess it can't have been all that bad (depending on how you look at it).
Amongst other crap, I had a bunch of horror comic subscriptions with my name scribbled in pencil under the counter each week waiting to be traded for my pocket money that just about covered them all.
By far the best of them all was this little bad boy.....
HELL YEAH!!!!!

Let it be known SCREAM! absolutely friggin' killed it!!!

The artwork for the most part and the majority of the twisted tales within were totally dope. This was '84 and it only ran for 12 (maybe?) issues and while it did I pretty much worshipped every poorly printed page! It even came with (admittedly crappy) gifts each week... or possibly fortnight? Whatever, still a big yay. And it was 20 pence!!! As you may have figured by now I used to be a fan to say the least and used to draw all the monsters in my own then-rubbish way.

See that Reaper-ish character there on the left? He was called "Ghastly McNasty" - kind of the "Crypt keeper" character from the earlier "Tales from the Crypt" stuff over in the States. You never got to see his face under his shroud (cloak maybe?) and they ran this big drawing competition - the idea being whoever got closest to guessing what he looked like would win.
I entered and I didn't win.
I remember getting super pissed when I saw the "winning" illustraion printed in the next issue because I thought it was super wack. Even back then!!!
Ha! What a dick I was/am.... The winner had him down as some half robot/reptile piss with crappy sticky out almost "Gilbert" ears... WHAT???? Utter toss. I had him down as a nasty rotten corpsey thing with an eye missing so you could see what remained of his think-sponge.
I sent it off and never saw it again. Poop.

Anyhow - I miss it and my collection vanished to some place years back. I'll get 'em again though. I need more junk in this house. I'll share some goodies here when I do.

Some kind of Hello...

2010-01-28T18:44:00.007Z

Right then....
I've been pondering the birth of this Blog for a few weeks now and even though the list of what I'll eventually be posting gets larger and larger I'm still unsure where to actually start with the sodding thing.

My brain has officially stopped so screw it - I'll just dive in somewhere.

I'm going to treat this page as an on-line scrapbook/ dumping ground.

All my free downloads, music, MP3s, thoughts, news, bits of writing, random reviews, mixes, rants, poncy pretentious twaddle, artwork, photos, videos, Podcasts, smalltalk, random junk and interesting stuff I find on the floor will be going up on this page at some point.

I figure it might be pretty useful for me to have all my crap in the same place.
So there you go... Actually that wasn't such a bad introduction I guess. Yays!

I don't know - I'm winging it from here on in.
Let's go.